Come on man, it’s a joke! No it isn’t.
A joke, a statement, a comment — how does it matter? Yes, it matters! It is called being irresponsible you selfish brute of a dumb head!
A female friend visited a coastal tourist destination recently, and we were listening to her stories/ experiences. The topic switched to romantic scenes at the beach and she was quoting how there were Indian, newly married couples who made out in public that it became "chi disgusting" and how the females had "half faded mehndi, huge stack of red bangles on their hands, wearing shorts... (and here comes the icing).. and had 'yucky mote mote' legs". Yes, she said that.
Now, 2 things:
1. Young men and women in India are so bound by societal rules & mindsets to not have sex / intimate relationships even with the person they love. They are so exhausted and desperate that immediately after the mangal shutra is on the girl's neck, they start making out and don't care about the whereabouts. Well, I don't see anything wrong in that. It would probably look more sexier if the mehndi and bangles weren't there. Poor them, we don't get to judge do we ? After all, they have just gotten their "Indian license"
2. The disappointment I had when the friend said "itne mote mote" legs is unfathomable. Women like these need to understand that major portion of the change that we strive for needs to come from themselves. Does that mean women with fat legs can’t wear shorts? And if they do, they are prone to body shaming by their own kind? And maybe even worse treatment by the men? Over 23% of urban women in India are overweight (I am not counting the well-within-weight category who are still termed fat because they have flesh and are not bones as per the new fashion standards). I’m not saying go naked on road. All I’m saying is the mind needs to evolve to accept the legs of a fat / curvy woman and a slim, tender one in a shorts as same things / body parts. Being concerned about a person’s fitness is one thing and mocking their flesh is another. HUGE difference. If I’m concerned about a person’s health, I’d advise them to hit the gym and workout but not mock their body.
Now, these statements are not illegal, but these are the ones which make a difference. I have had the urge to make many similar statements myself, maybe still do, but it is the conscious effort of not doing so, which is going to make us the better people that a better, equal & safe world needs. Sheryl Sandberg, quoted in LeanIn that SHE subconsciously chose men's questions over women's in her talks, but she learnt to be conscious over time. If she can be vulnerable about it and take effort, why can't we?. (But I have to mention, that the person quoted has been too-not-open-to-perspectives since very long).
Given the narcissists we are, this might not be something that we would worry about. But I think this needs more attention than figuring out what to wear to a club or whether or not to straighten your hair.
#WomenforWomen
